


Connection

by haikuhamster



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean is a Little Shit, Drabble, Humor, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, Implied Masturbation, M/M, Online Dating, Sam Is So Done, Sassy Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 13:50:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10219637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikuhamster/pseuds/haikuhamster
Summary: Sam should've put a password on his phone. This was totally his fault.





	

Dean was wheezing. God, he hadn't laughed this hard since the unspoken "Chastity" debacle with Cas.

"You seriously-" _manly chuckle not a giggle dammit_ "You seriously have Tinder?"

Sam just groaned and burrowed his head further into his arms. If Dean didn't have his phone, he probably would've walked away by now. Probably would've quipped about how childish Dean is or something petty like that. Well, screw him. This is gold.

"Look at this girl, Sam! You like redheads? You do now! Ooh, this girl plays Zelda."

The next few minutes were filled with giddy laughter, typing, and right-swiping from Dean, as well as increasingly half-hearted attempts from Sam to get his phone back. What he lacked was years of training in the art of big brother skill. ("It's called being a dick, Dean." "I refuse to apologize for art.") Dean was a master and the ol' swiperoo, even when facing the largest of little brothers.

"Lucifer, if you're listening, you have five minutes to pop in here and have free range to kill my brother, so long as I get my phone back."

 _Fwoosh!_ "Sam, you know that's not funny."

"God dammit, not you too!"

"Cas!" Dean turned a shit-eating grin on the squinting angel. "You're right on time to make Sam's life miserable."

"Cas, don't listen to him."

Score one for Dean, though, because the trenchcoat was already turning his squint to the screen in the hunter's hand.

"Here, this is a dating app-" _tap_ "-and this is Sam's profile. This is what all the chicks see."

"What's the purpose of the pencil by his face?"

"Dean, can I just-"

"That's if he wants to edit his profile. Or, more accurately, if I want to edit his profile." He tapped it with a smug grin. "Cas, buddy, how would you describe Sam? Really try to sell him."

Castiel's gaze on his brother was searching, as if examining his very soul. Hell, that might actually have been was he was doing.

"Sam is intelligent, strong... Capable. Accepting and personable. Flawed but his personality makes up for that overwhelmingly. He's driven heavily by his will to do what he sees as best for the greater good despite the effect it may have on him."

Both Dean and Sam looked at him after he finished. Sam looked surprised, but grateful. Dean was just surprised. That was more than he was expecting.

"Huh. How would you describe me, then?" Dean asked.

"I wouldn't."

Sam immediately bursted into laughter at Castiel's deadpan. Traitors, both of them.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. I'm still the one who killed Hitler, so you can have your snarky angel and eat shit too." Sam and Cas both shot him smug looks, Castiel's more subtle.

"I can describe you if you'd like," Sam piped up. "Desperate for attention, alcoholic, only one who laughs at his jokes? I could go on if you want. Actually, no. My seller would be 'killed Hitler a few months ago, you're welcome'. That'll reel in the babes, right Cas?"

"If by babes you mean his own hand."

Both Winchesters dropped their jaws. Sam snorted first, Dean following his guffaw after until both were grasping their sides and fighting for breath between episodes.

"Christ- Holy shit, Cas. I didn't know you had that in you," Dean sighed out when he started coming down. "That was gold. I'm so proud that I don't even mind being the butt of that joke."

"Seriously, Cas. Nice one."

Cas smiled a bit at that, clearly preening a bit at the praise in addition to the combined reaction.

"Here," Dean said, making a gesture towards Sam with the phone. "Take it back, I've set you up on a date with the redheaded chick's friend. Her number's in your phone as Allison, she likes archery and gymnastics." With an eyebrow wiggle, he let his brother take the phone back.

Sam immediately ducked out with a parting wave, headed for his room to escape his evil brother. Well, at least Dean was never Satan. Or any other junkless being. Which was weird to think about, because did angels actually not have junk?

"We don't need genitalia, because if new angels are needed they should be created by God instead of breeding."

"Dammit, Cas, I thought you didn't read minds anymore."

"You think loud. If you wanted me to get out of your mind, you wouldn't think of me so deliberately so often."

Wait... What? "When? I only ever think of you when something's worrying me regarding you."

"Among other times."

"Whatever it is you're dancing around right now, spit it out, man."

"You think most loudly when you pleasure yourself."

Dean blanched. Shit.

"CALLED IT."

"MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, SASQUATCH."

Sam's laughter trailed through the halls at his instinctual response. Cas just smiled softly. Double shit.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna continue but also I could just leave it like this. Whatever. If anyone caught my lil add-on, you're welcome. If you have no idea, you probably shouldn't bother trying to figure it out because it's not important. :) Hope y'all enjoyed!


End file.
